2. Be sure to include your email address with your post.
with one of my favorites, a real clever lady and an icon in the industry:
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helpful supplementary material, I strongly recommend you give this book a read.
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took it home and watched it and really loved what she had to say there as well. Time management is an ongoing challenge for me, so while this wasn’t exactly a final solution for my struggles with time, it did lead me to ask myself some good questions and help me to re-focus my priorities.
SHED Your Stuff, Change Your Life: A Four-Step Guide to Getting Unstuck
In this book, Julie explains how to use her four-step process SHED: Separate treasures, Heave the rest, Embrace identity from within, and Drive yourself forward. This looks like a good book for all of us who have emotional connections to our stuff but want to overcome the clutter piles once and for all!
Never Check E-Mail In the Morning: And Other Unexpected Strategies for Making Your Work Life Work
This one is for all of us working women (and men) who want to take control of our fast-paced workdays, but keep a balance between work and life. Julie gives innovative, easy-to-implement tips about improving performance and efficiency on the job. Not checking email in the morning (or at least for the first hour of work) is just the start. She also covers the dangers of multi-tasking, how to trust yourself and your skills, how to refuel by doing what you really love, and much more.
I always thought it would be wonderful to co-write a book with one of my daughters, and that’s just what Julie and her daughter Jessi have done in this teenage-version of Organizing from the Inside Out. Rather than messy homes and offices, this book focuses on messy bedrooms, backpacks, and cluttered social calendars. If your middle- or high-schooler needs practical advice about getting organized or managing their space and time, this sounds like the book for them. Jessi makes the process fun by adding her own comments and experiences. I should have picked this book up for my girls when they were teenagers!
And there you have it, recommended reading for the housekeeping impaired.
Come back next time to learn about another author, one who spells messy
as “Messie” for a reason!
And now here are a few more handy tips for clean and peaceful group travel: - Everyone should establish their own separate, personal KEY ZONE. That's because this is where you dump your pockets, and you don't want to dump together lest you lose and/or take each other's stuff by accident. When traveling with others, I'll usually set up my KEY ZONE somewhere on the side of the dresser that's closest to where I'll be sleeping, or maybe even in a top drawer that no one else will be using. - If you are traveling with a super neat freak, offer to contain any non-zone personal items to a specific but out-of-the-way area, for example in a back corner or behind a chair. You may even choose to drape a blanket over the pile when its not in use. That way, all your traveling companion needs do in order to avoid seeing your mess is not peek under the blanket. - If you tend to be messy, be sure that every night before you go to sleep you take a quick look around to see that you haven't left anything out on the floor or in the way. This is unfamiliar territory, remember, and you don't ever want your mess to cause someone else to trip and fall during a midnight bathroom run! - Be generous with the distribution of drawers, hangers, horizontal surfaces, plugs, etc., making sure that everyone sharing the accommodations gets an equal right to the storage options. This should go without saying, of course, but I'm including this here just in case you tend to act without thinking things through fully. Remember: A considerate travel companion would never hog all the hangers, take the top drawers of the dresser, monopolize the only table top, etc. 'Nuff said. - If there is someone you travel with frequently, such as a spouse or co-worker, try to learn from any past conflicts/mistakes/needs and solve the issues so that they don't come up again. For example, on your last trip did you... . ..lose the keys to the rental car, making you both late to an important function? If so, then you need to establish a better ZONE for those keys, or perhaps allow the other person to take charge of them whenever they're not in use. ...realize that sand was getting in your bed(s)? If so, then you need to come up with a solution for sandals, beach wear, beach toys, etc., that better limits the sand to a balcony or bathroom. ...misplace important receipts among all of the other papers that accrued? If so, then you need to establish a RECEIPT ZONE that's separate from your PAPERS ZONE so that it won't happen again.and so on. However you deal with past problems, doing so promptly and with grace can insure that such issues are less likely to crop up again. Remember that travel can be stressful on everyone! Even the smoothest of trips can involve hassle, delays, waiting in lines, unfamiliar bathrooms, different mattress types, etc, causing temporary irritation or discomfort. If keeping your things a little neater than usual will help to ease the stress for others, then by all means give it your best try! And if you're a neatnik traveling with someone who's housekeeping impaired, remember that messy tendencies often go hand in hand with other things that you love about this person--especially on a trip--such as their spontaneity, sense of humor, or generosity. Show them some grace whenever possible. And who knows? By the end of the trip perhaps one or two of your neater habits just might have rubbed off on them!
This week's traveling clean tip is about establishing "group standards" for travel cleanliness. If you are traveling with others, it's important that everyone be on the same page about the level of cleanliness you'd like to maintain as you travel. This is for the benefit of all who are on board, both the messy types and the neatniks. Somehow, regardless of how you do things at your homes, you'll need to find a middle ground of cleanliness that will work for everyone who is together on this particular trip. This may require some compromise on both sides, as those who are naturally neat may need to agree to accept a little more mess than usual, and those who are naturally messy may need to put in a bit more effort to stay neater than usual. As you sort this out, try to remember that this situation isn't forever, it's simply for this one trip! As my mother-in-law likes to say, "A man can get used to anything--except hanging!" I've been talking here about establishing various "zones" in your hotel room/condo/etc. as soon as you get there. This step is doubly important when you are traveling with others. Though some zones will be for your own personal use, you'll probably want to establish a few communal zones too. For example, two women would likely keep their ACCESSORY ZONES or their MAKEUP ZONES separate but might choose to combine their FOOD ZONE. Follow whatever procedure works best for all involved. For communal zones, you can establish them by committee, so to speak, but before you do, see if one of you is more eager than the other to be the chief zone-establisher. If so, you can save time, effort, and debate in the long run by letting one person establish the zones for all and simply inform the others what and where those zones are. When my hubby and I travel together, I choose most of the zones for us and simply clue him in once I'm done. But I do this with past trips in mind and with regard for how I know he would choose, if he were the one doing the choosing. For example, he's very tall, so I know he usually likes his KEY ZONE up high, like on a shelf above the TV, if there is one. Come back soon for more handy trips on clean and peaceful group travel.
Here's more from my recent interview with blogger Kristina Seleshanko, who has been implementing the HTCI system in her home and blogging about it online at Proverbs 31 Woman.
Kristina:
A lot of magazines and books discussing home organization provide costly examples of how to change our homes. Does it have to be expensive to set up an organized home? What are some examples of inexpensive ways to organize problem areas?Mindy: Over the years, I’ve spent a personal fortune on organizational items that proved useless in the end. Somehow, I think I feel better about a problem if I throw money at it!
It is true that sometimes, yes, money needs to be spent, even in a House That Cleans Itself. The broken window blinds that hang crooked and give a messy feel to the whole room need to go. The moldy grout that has resisted every product you’ve thrown at it needs to be replaced.
But more often than not, achieving a House That Cleans Itself costs nothing at all. For example, consider the Sight Zone principle. In the book, I explain that every room in your home has at least one “Sight Zone”—that area you see first when you stand in the doorway and look inside. (A room with multiple doorways will have multiple Sight Zones.) I suggest that you evaluate the Sight Zone for every room in your house. Next, for each of those rooms, decide which elements tend to stay neater and cleaner and which tend to get messier. (For example, you might be pretty good about making the bed but pretty bad about letting your dresser top get cluttered.)
Then—here’s the key—rearrange the furniture in each room so that the part that tends to stay neater is the part that sits in the Sight Zone, while the part that tends to get messy sits in that area of the room you may not see at first.
Using the above example, you would arrange your bedroom so that the bed sits across from the doorway in plain sight, but the dresser rests against the wall beside the door, maybe even with a plant or a curtain on the near side that blocks it from full view of the door. How on earth does this give you a cleaner house? It’s a mental thing, which has physical repercussions. Allow me to explain.
Before implementing this principal, every time you walked into that room, your eyes landed on the messy dresser and your first thought was “This room is a mess.” Even if you came further into the room and saw that the bed was made, your brain said, “Look at that, I tried to do something neat to this messy room.”
Now consider the impact after implementing the Sight Zone principle. If every time you walk into that room you spot the neatly-made bed, your first thought is, “This room is neat and clean.” Then when your eyes finally catch sight of the messier part you think, “Oh look, there’s a messy spot in this clean room.”
Do you see the difference? In the first example, not only does the house feel messier, but if this happens in room after room, the mess can seem so overwhelming and hopeless that you don’t even try to clean. In the second example, not only does the house feel cleaner, but by allowing you to see the mess as an isolated issue you are more likely to jump in and clean it up as well.
Household experts and those who are naturally gifted at housekeeping would probably call this concept crazy. They would instead lecture you about that messy dresser, sell you a bunch of containers, and tell you to try harder.
Not me! I already know the cold, hard truth: If you are housekeeping impaired, lectures won’t change your behavior, containers create a whole new kind of clutter, and no matter how hard you try, you’re never going to change simply through sheer force of will.
That’s what makes the House That Cleans Itself system so different. That’s why it works, even when nothing else has ever worked before.
Here's more from my recent interview with blogger Kristina Seleshanko, who has been implementing the HTCI system in her home and blogging about it online at Proverbs 31 Woman.
Kristina:
Do you have advice for women whose husbands are messies and not on board with The House That Cleans Itself system? For example, my dear hubby is terrible about sticking *stuff* on my kitchen counter and never moving it. We also have a problem with his mail; I have a special container I put it in, and when it's full, he's supposed to go through everything and toss out what he doesn't need. But instead, the container just overflows. One Proverbs 31 Woman reader also says her husband leaves his medicines on the counter, even though she's made a special spot for them in a cupboard. What advice might you give for situations like these?Mindy: Most men are born problem-solvers, and it always helps to take advantage of that fact. In a peaceful moment, sit down and talk with your husband about the issue, focusing on the items, not on his character or behavior. Tell him something like, “We have a cleaning problem, but the solution I came up with obviously isn’t working. Do you have any better ideas about how we could handle these pill bottles?” If you present things correctly, he’ll see that this is a challenge to be solved rather than a condemnation of his habits, and there’s a good chance he’ll come up with something that will eliminate the issue entirely.
The hard part may be in helping him to understand why this is actually a problem and not just a matter of preference. For example, though I suspect your reader doesn’t want medicines left on the counter primarily because that makes the room look messy, there are plenty of other reasons why this shouldn’t happen:
- the kids might accidentally get into them
- the medicines are far more likely to get stolen if they’re out where just anyone can see them
- it’s too hard to wipe the countertops if items have to be moved out of the way first
- the medicines can roll away, get hidden under piles, or even accidentally spilled on or thrown out
- and so on.
Once he is convinced that this is an actual problem and not just a matter of two different housekeeping styles, he’ll probably understand the need for a solution and may even come up with alternatives so that the problem will be solved.
In a situation where it really is just a matter of preference, it’s best to admit that. Ask yourself if you’re being too picky, or if this is something you could let go of and just ignore. If not, then try to appeal to that side of him that wants to love and protect and cherish you. Ask him to bend a little for your sake, just because it will make you happy.
That’s how I would handle the issue of your husband’s stuff and how he leaves it on your kitchen counter. First, of course, see if together you can come up with some specific solutions for the various things he tends to deposit there. But beyond that I think you should just be honest with him and explain that each item—no matter what it is, no matter that this wasn’t his intention—feels to you like a little slap on the face. It’s disrespectful and hurtful and makes you very sad and frustrated. (If the rest of the house is a real mess, chances are he just can’t see what difference it makes whether the counter is clear or not. But even so, your feelings don’t need to make sense, they just are.) We all have areas in our messy homes that we need to keep under control simply for the sake of our sanity, thanks to our brain and how it works. Tell him this is one of your mental health zones and that you desperately need him to try harder just so that you will stay sane. J
Sometimes, that’s enough to get him to change. Sometimes, however, a husband will agree to change somewhat as long as you’re willing to give a little in return. For example, we had a mess-by-the-door problem that seemed almost insurmountable. You see, my hubby likes to take his shoes off when he comes in the door and leave them there until he’s ready to put them on again the next day. To make matters worse, sometimes he’ll wear different shoes to work, causing the pairs to pile up and make a big mess. As that is the first thing you see when you come inside my house, it makes me crazy, but he really feels that there’s nothing wrong with it.
None of my solutions fixed this problem—not conveniently-placed baskets or clearing a spot in a nearby closet—so finally I sat down and had a talk with him. I said, “I know you don’t think of this as an issue, but it is for me. Seeing your shoes there makes me feel irritated and frustrated every single day. For that reason alone, I need you to work with me to find a solution.” His response was equally honest, saying that while he heard what I was saying and he wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt me, the fact was that he needed his shoes to be right there by the door or he would lose a lot of time and focus in the mornings if forced to retrieve them from somewhere else.
In the end, we decided that he did have the right to leave his shoes near the door, but within specific limits: He could only leave out one pair at a time—never more than that—and the shoes couldn’t just be plopped messily on the floor but instead had to be set neatly side by side, right next to the wall. It was a good solution. And though I’d rather not have to see his shoes there at all, I appreciate how he has stuck to this system, most of the time at least. As for me, I have done as I promised and stopped complaining or nagging him about the shoes he leaves at the door.
In the end, the most important key is to find a solution that works for your husband and the way he thinks. For example, maybe the guy who leaves his pill bottles on the counter is an out-of-sight-out-of-mind person. In your statement, “she's made a special spot for them in a cupboard,” perhaps the key phrase there is in the cupboard. Maybe when the pills are kept put away like that, he doesn’t see them and he forgets to take them. Instead, perhaps her compromise needs to be that the pills can stay out in the open on the counter (so he won’t forget) but that he has to put them into a little basket rather than just leaving them scattered willy nilly all over the table (so that they aren’t quite as much in her way, creating clutter). To me, that seems reasonable for both sides.
For your husband’s paper issue, maybe the container you chose is too big and he finds himself overwhelmed by the amount of papers it holds. In that case, get a smaller one. On the other hand, maybe the container you chose is simply too small, and the reason the papers are overflowing from it is because he only wants to deal with these things once a month but your container only holds two weeks’ worth. If that’s the case, get a bigger one!
Maybe he’s simply rotten at sorting and sifting, in which case the two of you should try and figure out some kind of simple pre-sort that you or he could do that would make the task feel less burdensome overall.
A final thought here: Ask him to specify a type of time or situation when he will be most likely to deal with the bin of papers. For example, maybe he doesn’t like doing them at night because then he’ll lie awake for hours obsessing about the bills, but he doesn’t mind sitting down on Saturday afternoons and going through them then, while you’re nearby cooking supper. The key here is that once he specifies the best case scenario for doing his papers, you’re allowed to remind him at those times without being thought of as a nag. Conversely, if you remind him at those times but he still doesn’t do the papers, you need to remember that he is a grown man and has the right to put this task off—though not to the point where your credit rating, electricity, etc., is in danger of being affected—as long as you can remind him with impunity the next time the situation again presents itself.
As you can see, getting to the root of these issues requires discussion, problem-solving skills, and a willingness to demonstrate love through action on both sides.
